This is an exciting post for me because these are my husband’s thoughts about rest. My sister-in-law asked how Adam and I got on the same page about prioritizing rest and simplicity in our life. She asks the best questions. Adam doesn’t have the same need for rest that I do. He has so much energy and as you will see in his answers below, his idea of rest is full of productivity.
As I write this, I am realizing we are and we are not on the same page when it comes to rest. It’s kind of amazing that we have learned how to respect the way the other person rests. I like to sleep in and take naps, he likes to wake up early and get caught up on emails and news. I can’t imagine relaxing with a smart phone near me, he finds great peace in knowing he is accessible to anyone who might need him. We both love not having anything planned and we work hard to keep our evenings and weekends open for connection with each other and with our kids.
Here are his answers:
How do you define rest?
I like days when nothing is planned but I have a list of things I can do like minor home projects, work and play that I can do on my own timetable. I have to be more intentional about play-like going to see movies, do non-competitive activities. That all feels like rest to me. Love eating out with my family or doing any kind of together activity like going to the bookstore, riding bikes or walking to the park.
Do you need more rest in your life?
There are times when I over schedule myself and I need to prioritize rest but, if I don’t have enough to do, I get antsy. Right now I have a lot of down time. I would prefer to balance this better. Right now I can accelerate/remove things from my life as necessary. My work is project based so I can delegate when I need but my inclination is to work really hard to get to a finish line and then rest.
Do you set aside time to rest?
Never. Rest occurres when work is done and that happens at the latest by 5pm. It feels restful to me to start my day early, catch up on emails, learn a new chess move and listen to Bird Note on the radio. I have about a 30 minute drive to work and I don’t listen to music or anything, I just let my mind settle and organize. In the evenings I workout, shower and make myself available for my family. Good days always end with cookies and milk. My routine is restful to me.
What are obstacles to rest?
My to do list, certainly work, anything that is required by anyone else.
How do you prepare for rest?
I have to make sure no one needs me for anything or if they might need me that they know how to reach me. I want to know everyone else is okay first-especially Jenny and my kids.
Adam and I have been married for 22 years. I am an object at rest, he is an object in motion. We have learned to appreciate and enjoy what the other person brings to our family and somewhere in there we find a rhythm that works. As different as our approach to rest may be, we both find the sweetest rest when we are together.