In a conversation with a friend last week, she told me how her husband set up aftercare for her 3 year old son, but he did so on the same day that he needed the aftercare.
As every mom knows, you can’t just do that.
The handbook requires a 24 hour advance notice, but, we laughed, because it was the dad who was asking and working hard to arrange care for his pre-schooler, he is going to get the benefit of the doubt.
I suggested that we always have our husbands make arrangements for our kids because if and when he does it “wrong,” most people will just say, “Well, he’s doing the best he can.”
My sassy blonde neighbor said, “You never hear anyone say that about the mom.”
An unexpected teariness came up for me. Her words touched a tender place for both of us. We have been friends through depression, job loss, failure, and bed rest. We have witnessed each other’s messiest houses and broken-est hearts.
There’s no “she’s doing the best she can” unless it is a comment made in a condescending tone implying her best isn’t good enough but let’s pretend we are not judging her.
From my own story and the hundreds of others that have sat across from me in my office, at coffee shops or at my very own kitchen table, I can tell you-every woman (and yes, every man, too)-is doing the best they can.
Today, I will let go of all the judgments I hold out against myself and I will instead receive the gift of acceptance.
This is me, doing the best I can.